#realtalk

We live in a world where sports athletes' motivation is still earning gold stars.
Musicians crave squiggly drawings, and soldiers blur the line between good and evil.

Where 1.5 million dollars can mean the difference between marrying the person you love and the person the state says you ought to love. Silly, green paper.

Where art is no longer an expression of self, but rather an expression of 3 letters: MTV.

Where manifesting by the uplifted hand can mean the damnation of a soul. I thought only god was allowed to do that!

Today, I resign.

I resign from my office of not quite being the norm, the morbid one, the psychonaut, the sub-threshold scizophrenic!
Because the voices in my head are telling me things. They tell me that J is a more phallic letter than G.

And You is a more important word than Me.

I'm God

I woke up this morning to my pet rats running around their cage frantically.
At first I was annoyed.

I got out of bed and wandered to their cage. 

I sat there looking into my cute little ratties' eyes for a good two minutes. They were wanting to tell me something. I could tell by the way they were looking at me.
Then I realized the obvious. They were hungry.

I fed them and went downstairs. I came across my dogs begging for food so I cracked a few eggs into a skillet and made them scrambled eggs with chicken gizzards and hearts and left over mashed potatoes.

I dished the concoction out into two bowls.

The dogs gratefully lapped up the food and then begged to go outside to expel their bodily fluids/solids so I opened the back door for them.

Just then I realized something......

My pets need ME to feed them. They need ME to let them outside to excrete. 

They need ME to live their lives. 

They need ME to do anything and everything.

If I wanted to I could not feed them and kill them.

Or I could feed them and let them live.

Today I have realized that for my pets, I AM GOD!

So with this new found discovery I shall salvage the world and clothe the naked and feed the hungry!

I will raise the meek to the tops of the mountains and let my angels blow their clarion call.

We will hie all to my hall!

I Remember

I remember believing whatever I heard. 

I remember being okay with hating people for no reason.

I remember judging people based on criteria that doesn't exist.

I remember learning that judgment will never be defeated. 

That being a non-judgemental person really just means

that you judge someone based on a societal perspective

that many people agree is okay to exude.

I remember laying on a tarp one summer night.

I remember looking at the stars and deciding that they are beautiful.

Just like looking into my mother's watering eyes.

I remember feeling love for the first time.

It was perfect.

I remember drinking my first cup of coffee and feeling better than everyone else.

I remember realizing that 99% Americans drink coffee.

I remember feeling good that I was part of that 99%.

I remember my first piano lesson.

I remember hating lessons until, after a month, I received a king-sized Snickers bar.

I remember my first recital.

I remember my mother saying that she was so proud, and me believing her.

I remember writing my first poem.

It wasn't a poem at all, but a lousy string of words.

I remember everything from the age of 15 and up. Everything before that is a haze.

The End.

Dear World,

    Ah! No better way to write a suicide letter than listening to "On The Nature Of Daylight" and enjoying some chips and salsa.
    I thought this day would come sooner, but alas, 'tis not the time to be sentimental.
However, I will miss the music in the air and the sweet scents of pastures and river pine-needles. The world was once a better place for me, but every great thing must wither up and die. I lack the motivation to be poetic so I'll get down to it:

Will:
~All my money goes to Hoh (I've owed him over the years)
~Arina will get my ratties
~My Cannabis will be given to Trvor and Gleaon (To be disposed of, of course!)
~Bal shall inherit my room
~Dom shall inherit my guitars
~Please take care of Aiana, she'll need the most love and support

^^^That's probably good enough

Well I'm sad now. This is the real me. This is my only honest writing. It feels so good to be free.

So Fucking good!


What I have learned in my short pathetic life:
~All you need is love
~Lying isn't a thing
~Jesus doesn't give a shit
~Society is a sick fuck
~Music is alive



Goodbye Now.

Sleep tight, and don't let the

Priests Bite!

Sad Chairs

 The Doggy Throne.

 Teenager's Alchemy Lab.

I'll work out tomorrow... or the next day...

How To Smoke Crack Like A Pro

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Even Death Won't Stop Us Now

How To Die With No Regrets:


1. Don't wrong anyone
2. Don't kill anyone
3. Don't steal from anyone
4. Don't cheat on anyone
5. Don't give up on anyone

Notice that all of these steps
Have to do with other people.

That is the key!

Live through other people,
help them,
love them,
be there for them,

That is the ONLY way to go
to the grave with no regrets.